For Jill Vatter, and the family of Robert P. Vatter

A friendly smile,

A casual touch,

These are things

That mean so much.

To know you are with us

In our time of sorrow,

Sharing our prayers,

Today and tomorrow.

God gives us comfort

In the form of good friends,

May His peace be with you,

His love never ends.

Fr. Bill Luggar, pastor and friend of Bob’s, wrote the following words after hearing of his death.

“My brothers and sisters in Christ… We lost a good and valued friend … He will be greatly missed by all.

It is certainly at times like this that our faith gets tested. We ask all the usual questions such as: Why? … How Come? … Why so soon before his ordination? … Why at such a young age? … How come God does this? It is OK to ask these questions. It is OK to question God. Asking God is a form of prayer. Remember the Gospel where Jesus said to us… “ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find; knock and it will be opened for you. (Luke 11:1-13) God always wants to remain in OPEN communication with us. We needn’t close him off in times of difficulty or hardship or pain. God is there to comfort, guide, direct and most of all LOVE us as his children.

Anytime someone who has studied Theology, Sacred Scripture, and Sacraments, as Bob has done for these past five years, students are given numerous questions to ponder. Questioning and answering… dialogue and discussion makes us stronger. And as soon as I heard that Bob had passed from this life I knew that Bob had all the answers to all the questions as he looked at the face of God.

Am I sad? Yes of course! Bob was almost a brother to me in many ways. He could finish one of my sentences at a meeting before I ended it. He would know where help was needed before I even asked him. I was so looking forward to having Bob at the altar with me. He told great stories and felt very comfortable in his ministry, which served so many people. He was involved in Habitat for Humanity, R.C.I.A., Finance Council, Parish Pastoral Council, Extra-ordinary Minister of Holy Communion, Corn Roast 2004, Lector, Altar Server, Mass Captain, The 2004 Ministry Fair and so many other areas it is difficult to list them all. He will be greatly missed.

Are we also joyful? I hope so. We as Catholic brothers and sisters in communion with Bob through Christ in the Eucharist and Baptism celebrate Bob’s faith and good works by celebrating Christ’s Passion, Death and Resurrection. Bob believed and his life reflected that belief and his faith. We can do nothing greater than to honor Bob by asking God who loves us all to raise Bob to new and Eternal Life in His Kingdom!”

And so life goes on. Words like Fr. Bill’s certainly help comfort and heal. And Bob is present with us, but in his new and glorified existence. There was so much love in this holy man named “Bob” that it could not help but radiate and saturate those who knew him. And so our lasting treasure is that this diaconal community is stronger, thanks to his spiritual gifts and contributions. And we are certainly imbued with a keener sense of our mystical life for having been blessed with his presence.

The weeks prior to Bob’s death I had been pondering and reflecting on the spiritual reality of Holy Orders and the “laying of hands.” And in particular II Timothy 1:6, “For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands.” And then, just a week before he died, I had a truly amazing dream that wrapped it all up for me. Here is an excerpt from my journal about that experience.

“In a dream I found myself present at our up coming ordination. It started out quite reasonable and normal. The cathedral was filling up. The music filling this sacred space was a beautiful and heavenly medley. Our bishop approached me in the sanctuary and asked if I could speak extemporaneously to the congregation of the meaning of this significant event in my life. I was naturally taken aback, for this was sudden and, liturgically speaking, very much out of character. Seeing that I was speechless, the bishop then took me by the hand and led me to the altar. At that moment a server in a glorified body, bathed in light and wearing a gossamer alb approached me. He handed me the Book of Gospels, which I opened to Luke 11, “Lord, teach us to pray just as John taught his disciples…” I looked up to start reading and the cathedral ceiling opened up to a heavenly presence. Before me stood not only people from around the diocese, but also countless millions of souls rejoicing and giving thanks. I am sure this truly was the Mystical Body of Christ, the faithful that are living and dead. And within its ranks the white robed martyrs who willingly shed their blood and for two thousand years have been there to support our Community.

“And so I am left with a sense of awe and wonder. And I draw closer to living the immeasurable essence of being in this world, not of it, “For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God's sight. As it is written: "He catches the wise in their craftiness” And I find the words our Father gave us lifting me anew and strengthening my resolve to do his will.

“Thy will be done, on earth and in heaven!”

After I heard of Bob’s death I could not help but tie these experiences together. I now wonder if it was Bob in his glorified body that handed me the Gospel. It is human nature to become pragmatic and turn away from those gifts that fill us with wonder and awe. And so, maybe, just maybe, it will be Bob’s new charge to stand there for all of us. And from time to time, we might feel a gentle touch on the shoulder to remind us that indeed our daily challenge to be present for others and to be in this world, not of it.